i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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