Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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