youre lurking in front of me
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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