He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize