I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
