no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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