someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
