Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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