You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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