So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
