well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My liver just had a heart attack.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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