the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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