I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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