ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize