we're blogging at a bar
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
