I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
