I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
