Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
