home. puking in laundry basket.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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