how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize