girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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