he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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