That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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