I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize