Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
