ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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