he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
