I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
