on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
