He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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