Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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