I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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