also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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