Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
