Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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