He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
