yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
