I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
