We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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