you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
