You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
