Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
