i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
