my sisters under your porch take her home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
