The maid of honor just puked.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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