can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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