I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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