Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
