My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
