I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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