Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
