okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌ï¸
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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