I think im going to throw up on grandma
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
