walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
