Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
