Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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