I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
