you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
