Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i love accidental penises.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
