Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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